I came across something on Instagram last week that made me put my phone down for a moment. I’ve seen plenty of disturbing things online, but this one was different. My heart wasn’t so much angry as it was grieving.
I wasn’t reading another political argument about abortion. I was reading comments from women who were apparently celebrating the idea of aborting their own children simply because they were boys.
Isabel Brown, who is pregnant herself, had compiled a series of comments from TikTok and shared them on Instagram. Some were so disturbing that I had to read them twice.
One woman wrote:
“I got an abortion w each boy. told my husband I had a miscarriage and go spend a week at the spa after 😆 no boys coming out of this mama.”
That comment reportedly received more than 36,000 likes.
Another wrote:
“No for real. I’m either having a girl or an abortion.”
More than 23,000 likes.
Others claimed to have aborted every boy they’d conceived. One woman announced that she was waiting for a scan to determine whether she was having a girl or an abortion, adding the hashtag #KillAllMen.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Now, I want to be careful here. I can’t verify that these women actually did what they claimed. Some of these comments may be cruel attempts at humor, written by people who have become so accustomed to saying outrageous things online that they’ve lost their sense of perspective.
But even if every one of them was joking, we still have a serious problem.
How did we reach a place where the death of a baby boy could become a punchline? And how did tens of thousands of people decide it was funny?
As a pastor, I’ve sat with couples who desperately wanted children but couldn’t have them. I’ve prayed with women who struggled through years of infertility. I’ve watched families spend their savings trying to adopt a child they could love and raise as their own.
And then I read comments like these.
It’s difficult to comprehend.
What troubles me most is the attitude underneath these statements. It’s the idea that a child is valuable only if that child meets our expectations.
I’ll love this baby, but only if it’s a girl.
I’ll welcome this child, but only if it’s the kind I wanted.
And if it’s not?
I’ll simply get rid of it.
We’ve rightly condemned sex-selective abortion in countries such as China and India, where countless unborn girls have been discarded because families preferred sons. We’ve recognized the cruelty of treating a child’s sex as the determining factor in whether that child deserves to live.
But surely the principle works both ways.
A little boy’s life is no less valuable than a little girl’s.
Scripture reminds us:
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” (Psalm 127:3, ESV)
Not just daughters. Not just sons. Children.
Their value isn’t determined by their sex, their abilities, their potential, or whether they fit into the future we’ve imagined for ourselves. Their value comes from the God who created them.
How Did We Get Here?
Earlier this year, Slate published an article with a headline that caught my attention: “I Was Devastated to Learn I Was Having a Baby Boy. I’m Far From Alone.”
Think about what that says about the cultural waters we’re swimming in.
Some women have become so disillusioned with men that the thought of raising a boy fills them with dread.
Now, I don’t want to dismiss that feeling without trying to understand it. There are women who have been terribly mistreated by men. Some have experienced abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and violence. Those wounds are real, and the church should never minimize them.
But the answer to bad men isn’t fewer boys. It’s raising better men.
And that’s where I think we need to turn the conversation toward ourselves.
Where are the fathers? Where are the husbands? Where are the men who will demonstrate that masculinity isn’t something to fear, but something that can be shaped by humility, courage, gentleness, and faithfulness?
I wonder how many young women have grown up without ever seeing that kind of man.
And I wonder whether some of us have been too quiet.
What Can We Do?
I wish I could offer a simple solution. I can’t.
We can pass laws, and I believe protecting unborn life matters enormously. But legislation alone cannot change a heart that has learned to despise another human being.
Only the gospel can accomplish that kind of transformation.
Still, there are places we can begin.
Men, we need to model godly manhood. Not the loud, arrogant version that demands respect while doing little to earn it. I’m talking about men who keep their promises, love their wives, protect the vulnerable, and take responsibility for their families.
Fathers, be present. Your sons need to see what a good man looks like, and your daughters need to know that good men exist.
Churches, let’s celebrate our boys rather than merely tolerate them. Let’s disciple them, challenge them, encourage them, and call them toward the kind of manhood we see in Jesus Christ.
I think about Nehemiah standing before a frightened people, calling them to courage:
“Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.” (Nehemiah 4:14, ESV)
That sounds like a pretty good assignment for us today.
And to any woman who has actually made the decision described in those comments, I want you to hear something else.
There is grace for you.
I’m not minimizing what happened. But the same Jesus who calls us to repent also offers forgiveness and a new beginning. Your story doesn’t have to end with your worst decision. The cross is sufficient even for this.
Before you scroll away, picture a little boy.
He’s got chubby hands, a round face, and a laugh that fills the room. He doesn’t know anything about politics, cultural movements, or the arguments people have about whether boys are worth raising.
Maybe someday he’ll become a doctor. Or a pastor. Or a soldier. Maybe he’ll grow up to be a faithful husband who loves his wife well, or a father who stays when things get difficult.
Or maybe he’ll simply be an ordinary man who works hard, loves his neighbors, and quietly makes the world a little better.
He deserves that chance. And he deserves more than our silence.
So speak up. Encourage the fathers around you. Challenge young men to live with integrity. Show compassion to those who have been hurt. Defend the lives of children who cannot defend themselves.
We may not be able to change every heart, but we can be faithful with the influence God has given us.
And when the culture begins treating the lives of little boys as disposable, surely that’s a moment when Christians ought to find their voices.
Because sometimes, not to speak is to speak.